Relationship Difficulties & Patterns
Relationships can bring connection, belonging and support, but they can also be where some of our most difficult emotions and familiar patterns emerge.
You may find yourself having the same arguments, struggling to communicate what you need, feeling responsible for other people's emotions, or repeatedly finding yourself in relationships that leave you feeling unheard, disconnected or unsure of yourself.
Sometimes we can recognise these patterns very clearly and still find them difficult to change.
Therapy offers a space to slow things down and explore what happens for you within relationships — not to decide who is right or wrong, but to better understand your needs, responses and the patterns that may be shaping the way you connect with others.
Understanding Relationship Patterns
The ways we relate to others don't develop in isolation.
Our early relationships, family dynamics, previous experiences and ways of adapting to difficult situations can all influence how we approach closeness, conflict, trust and vulnerability as adults.
You might notice yourself avoiding conflict, becoming overwhelmed when someone pulls away, finding it difficult to say no, putting other people's needs before your own, or withdrawing when relationships begin to feel uncomfortable.
These patterns often developed for a reason. Becoming aware of them can help us understand what they may have been protecting or providing for you, and whether they are still serving you today.
You May Be Experiencing
Recurring conflict or communication difficulties
Difficulty expressing your needs
People-pleasing or feeling responsible for others
Difficulty setting or maintaining boundaries
Fear of rejection or abandonment
Difficulty trusting or becoming close to others
Feeling disconnected or lonely within a relationship
Repeating similar relationship patterns
Difficulty navigating separation or changes within a relationship
Family relationships that continue to feel challenging
Losing a sense of yourself within relationships
You don't need to be in a romantic relationship to explore relationship difficulties in therapy. These patterns can also show up with parents, siblings, friendships, colleagues and other important relationships.
Exploring What's Happening Beneath the Pattern
It can be frustrating to know that a relationship pattern isn't working for you and still find yourself repeating it.
Rather than simply trying to change the behaviour, therapy can help us explore what may be happening underneath it.
We might become curious about what happens when you feel rejected, criticised, pressured or disconnected; what you notice in your body; the emotions that emerge; and what you tend to do next.
With greater awareness, patterns that once felt automatic can begin to make more sense.
A Relational Approach to Therapy
My approach is relational, trauma-informed and grounded in contemporary Gestalt therapy.
The therapeutic relationship itself can also offer valuable insight into how you experience connection, boundaries, trust and being understood by another person.
Together, we can explore your relationship experiences with curiosity rather than judgement, while developing greater awareness of your emotions, needs, boundaries and ways of relating.
The aim isn't to become perfect at relationships or to avoid conflict altogether. It is to develop a stronger understanding of yourself within relationships and greater choice in how you communicate, connect and respond.
Couples
While much of my relationship work is with individuals, I also offer counselling to couples who would like support navigating relationship difficulties, communication or recurring patterns together.
We can discuss what has brought you to therapy and whether working together feels appropriate for your needs.
Face-to-face sessions in North Strathfield and Telehealth Australia-wide.